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Los Angeles Family Law Blog

How can I co-parent effectively with my ex?

One of the more difficult aspects of divorce is co-parenting with your ex. However, the health and well-being of your children depends on your ability to effectively communicate with your former spouse, whether you’re discussing visitation schedules, academic issues, or healthcare needs. Psychology Today offers the following advice in this case, which will help you co-parent with your ex in order to come to a reasonable outcome.

Set Boundaries

Can you get palimony when your relationship ends?

If you live with someone in California, but the two of you never married or registered a domestic partnership, you may still be able to get “spousal” support if and when your relationship breaks up. As FindLaw explains, California has a unique law that allows some cohabitating partners to receive palimony at the end of a cohabitation arrangement.

Depending on your age, you may or may not remember Lee Marvin, a famous actor back in the day, but he is the one you must thank for the whole palimony concept. Lee lived with a woman named Michelle Triola for a number of years. When the relationship ended in 1971, Michelle sued Lee for half of the couple’s “marital” property and also for “spousal” support, alleging that the two had an oral agreement whereby she contributed her services and earnings during the relationship in exchange for these things.

3 things to know about restraining orders

Nobody wants to be in a situation where they are filing a restraining order, or perhaps worse, having one filed against them. Restraining orders are, nonetheless, an important and sometimes necessary part of the criminal justice system, and anybody dealing with one should know what to expect. 

According to the California Courts Judicial Branch, the first step is to file for a civil harassment restraining order. Whether you are on the defendant or the person filing, you should be aware of the three facts about what to expect from a restraining order and the filing process:

What are the effects of domestic violence?

When domestic violence occurs in a relationship it can impact the entire family. It can also have a wide range of effects, including causing mental or emotional issues that can be exceedingly difficult to recover from. Understanding the these effects if often the first step to getting support necessary to make a clean break, and the following information provided by provides insight into what often occurs.

Physical Effects

How do I bring up the topic of divorce with my kids?

California couples considering divorce have many tough decisions to make and telling your children about the separation is one of them. How you handle the initial discussion, as well as those still to come, can alter the way they see themselves and the rest of the world.

Psychology Today explains that cooperative co-parenting during and after a divorce is essential to helping your children deal with conflicting feelings that can include grief, anger, confusion, anxiety and more. Consider the following when determining what to tell them.

What expenses can child support payments be used for?

Divorcing parents in Los Angeles will still need to raise and provide for their child, and usually joint provision is the best way to go about this. More often than not, this involves child support payments of some sort. Not only can it be difficult to determine what those payments should be, but it can also be hard to decide what they should be used for.

According to FindLaw, child support payments don't just cover the bare necessities of a child. Food, shelter and clothing should be a given. Child support payments are also used for enrichment, or non-essential things that will bring betterment to the child's life in some way. This can include, but is not limited to:

  • Afterschool activities 
  • Clubs or sports
  • Dances such as prom
  • Field trips
  • Application fees
  • Medical fees

How to Communicate With Your Ex About Co-Parenting

At the heart of any healthy co-parenting arrangement is communication. Unfortunately, many divorced people in Los Angeles find it difficult to make decisions with their exes about things like schooling, medical care, or even residence. Because good communication is so important, offers the following tips to help you and your ex co-parent successfully.

Don’t Let Your Feelings Dictate Behavior

3 tips for making a custody arrangement that lasts

While you are going through a divorce, child custody is one of your main concerns. If it looks like you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are going to have some sort of joint custody, you may have concerns about how this will work. After all, co-parenting may sound like a difficult task. 

Thankfully, it is possible to create a custody agreement that lasts. Here are some tips for coming up with a parenting plan that works.

Negative emotions during the divorce process

Going through a divorce can be difficult for so many different reasons, such as the financial strains that some people experience as a result of alimony or property division and moving out of a home they have lived in for many years. Moreover, those who have kids may have an especially difficult time during their divorce due to a custody dispute or concerns about not being able to spend as much time with their children. With all of these hurdles, divorce can certainly generate very strong emotions, such as depression, anxiety, and even anger and it is essential for parents to handle these emotions properly.

There are a number of ways you may be able to lessen the emotional impact of the divorce process. For example, you could find that by going over all of your options and the laws that are relevant to divorce issues you are facing, you are able to relieve some of your stress and have a better idea of what may lie ahead. Talking with your marital partner or former spouse can help, although some people do not have these open lines of communication while they are working through a divorce. Moreover, it might be very helpful to discuss what is happening with your children.

Can you move away with your kids?

A major part of getting through your divorce is moving on in your life with your ex-spouse no longer being a part of it. That may mean moving away from Los Angeles to find a new job, be closer to family or just pursue new opportunities. Yet how are you able to do that if you and your ex have children together? 

The law recognizes the importance of children having continued contact with both of their parents. However, if you have primary custody of your children, California's Family Code states that you have the right to determine where their residence will be. This allows you to move away with your kids if you so choose. Your ex-spouse may dispute the move, but in order to modify your custody agreement to accommodate for it, he or she will have to show that you moving away would be harmful for your children. 

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