Interacting With Your Ex-Spouse Over the Holidays

Staying Cordial in the Season of Giving

After dealing with a difficult divorce, interacting with your ex-spouse may be the last thing on your mind; however, with the holiday season approaching so quickly, there may be moments where you have to speak with them in some capacity. How should you proceed in these types of situations while maintaining the positive spirit of the time of year?

Stay Positive

If you find yourself in a situation where you know in advance that you are going to have to interact with your spouse, perhaps in a custody exchange, for example, then it’s important to go into those interactions with a positive attitude. Assuming that every interaction will end up turning negative could lead to those moments unintentionally becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Having that positive mindset going into an interaction, even if difficult, can help you come out on the other side thinking clearly and acting rationally.

Stick to Your Boundaries

If you’ve set boundaries for yourself related to speaking with your ex-spouse, it’s important that you stick to those boundaries even during the holiday season. Don’t let yourself break your own rules regarding communication.

Stick To Your Goals

If you have a purpose in communicating with your spouse, whether it be to coordinate a gift for a child or work on picking up and dropping off a child, be sure to stick close to your purpose and avoid diverting off into different topics. If for some reason a conversation begins to get heated, reverting right back to your purpose can refocus the conversation on what it needs to be about.

Surround Yourself with Those You Trust

Your friends and family can be the best support systems you could have. If you have to interact with your ex-spouse over the holidays, be sure to keep those you trust informed so that they can support you if you need it. They can also act as a great sounding board if you need advice or if things begin to become frustrating.

Get Help from an Attorney

If these interactions you are having with your ex-spouse are related to them breaking your divorce agreement or causing other issues, it’s important to get help from an attorney to determine the best course of action. At TRABOLSI | LEVY | GABBARD LLP, our team is committed to helping our clients move past negativity and turn the page to the next chapter of their lives.


To learn more or to schedule a consultation, call us at (310) 455-8364 or visit us online.

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